I have regularly been tempted to ask that question, especially as some trying interview becomes seemingly endless. Now that I think about it, all interviews are tyring - and that's a pretty awful statement for me, since I make my living by doing interviews.

The heart of the interview dilemma, surely not solved by the question above, is that most interviewers don't know what question to ask, and most interviewees don't know if they can ask questions. That tells you why too many interviews are unpleasant happenings, from which neither side realizes their expectations.

OK, what can we, me as a professional and you tyring to scope out a job candidate, do about it? Well, publications have been written on the subject (ask me, I have one to send you!) but please let me help your interviews be more fruitful with a couple of simple suggestions. They might help you the next time you are at some interview table - on either side!

If you are the interviewer, prepare yourself. You probably are going to change someone's life. You also may well be going to affect your company's future. Be clear in your mind about what "kind" of executive you want. "Kind" means the eduation, skills, and career experiences you, and your organization, think are necessary for the candidate to be sucessful. If necessary, make a check-off list. But, for heaven's sake, don't display it during the interview.

Whether or not you use a check-off type list, some sort of written records should be made, possibly during, and certainly right after, the interview. It is important for you to make notes about your reactions to the person you interviewed. Even put down what they looked like. Believe me, after four or five interviews, the people you have seen often get blurred in your memory.

That takes care of the beginning and the end, you say, what about the middle? This may come as a surprise, but do not do a detailed review of the candidate's resume. Read that resume before the interview, make notes somewhere that will give you spring-board-like, open-ended questions. Give the candidate an easy opportunity to tell you where they have been, what they have done, what they are good at, and yes, even their weakness.

You should keep in mind that every interview is an investigation. Also note that good interviews become interesting conversations between two people, getting to know each other.

Now let's go to the other side of the table: you are the interviewee.

Be honest, that's important, but don't overwork your sincerity act with overselling. Nobody is perfect and the person on the other side of the table knows it too.

Presenting yourself as the world's best creative decision-maker is a sure receipt for not making anyone's short list, also. Remember this is a conversation, so don't talk too much.

Having said that, when or how do you learn what you want now? You may not have realized it, but the first interview is the best (and maybe only) time to ask all the uncomfortable questions about your potential future employer's operations. Did they blow a product launch? Or, has a regulatory agency recently embarrassed them? Ask! If the guy on the other side is worth his salt, he will shoot straight with you. The net result is that get the true story, and probably generate two good impressions: one is theirs of you, the other yours of the company.

A little warning: if you are going to ask quesions, tough or just curious, do your homework before the interview. Learn about the company, (the internet is a goldmine!). You can then simultaneously find out things while demonstrating your own interest, and intelligence.

It's also OK for you, when being interviewed, to be open about what hasn't gone well in your life, or your career. A few flaws, here and there, are acceptable (going back to my beginning question; I'm not sure being in jail is included on the list of acceptable flaws).

Now it's up to you. On either side of the table, learn what you want to learn, and try to enjoy it as much as possible. Remember, if you feel uncomfortable, I bet the other person does too. Probably not a good place to work.
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Glendon Rowell, probably the doyen of Executive Search consultants in Asia, is now the Chairman of SearchBank Executive Search, Ltd.